Marriage

Anniversaries
An anniversary is recognized on a yearly basis, under no circumstances will anything be celebrated in an interval other than a year.

Definition of "Guts" and "Balls"
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say, "You're next, fatty!"

LESBIAN WIFE SITUATION
For those of you who's wife happens to be a lesbian, under no circumstances shall you divorce her by your choice. Do not cry! Take advantage of the situation!

Worst possibilities of sex during marriage.

 * Walking in on your spouse during sex.
 * FACT:Pregnancy is sexually transmitted.
 * Getting your arm eaten off by a bear during weird sex games involving honey.

Surnames
'''EXCEPTION: if said spouse is a member of royalty, a has the last name of a famous person or is extremely wealthy. '''
 * No man shall assume the last name of his spouse.
 * Hyphenation is subject to this rule as well.